About The VelociPastor
The VelociPastor (2018) is a gloriously absurd indie film that has earned a dedicated cult following for its outrageous premise and earnest execution. The story follows Doug Jones, a grieving priest who travels to China after his parents' tragic death. There, he inherits a mysterious ability that transforms him into a dinosaur whenever he experiences anger. Initially horrified by his new condition, he's convinced by Carol, a streetwise sex worker, to channel this power for good—specifically, to fight crime and battle a gang of ninjas terrorizing the city.
Director Brendan Steere embraces the film's ridiculous concept with complete sincerity, which is key to its charm. The low-budget special effects, particularly the dinosaur transformations, are intentionally campy and add to the film's B-movie appeal. The performances, especially by Alyssa Kempinski as Carol and Gregory James Cohan as Doug, strike the perfect balance between deadpan delivery and comedic timing, never winking too obviously at the audience.
What makes The VelociPastor worth watching is its unapologetic commitment to its bizarre vision. It successfully blends multiple genres—action, horror, comedy, and even a touch of romance—into a cohesive 75-minute romp. The film doesn't take itself seriously, yet it's made with genuine affection for grindhouse cinema. For viewers seeking something truly original, laugh-out-loud funny, and wonderfully weird, The VelociPastor delivers a unique cinematic experience that's perfect for late-night viewing with friends. Its growing reputation as a modern cult classic is well-deserved.
Director Brendan Steere embraces the film's ridiculous concept with complete sincerity, which is key to its charm. The low-budget special effects, particularly the dinosaur transformations, are intentionally campy and add to the film's B-movie appeal. The performances, especially by Alyssa Kempinski as Carol and Gregory James Cohan as Doug, strike the perfect balance between deadpan delivery and comedic timing, never winking too obviously at the audience.
What makes The VelociPastor worth watching is its unapologetic commitment to its bizarre vision. It successfully blends multiple genres—action, horror, comedy, and even a touch of romance—into a cohesive 75-minute romp. The film doesn't take itself seriously, yet it's made with genuine affection for grindhouse cinema. For viewers seeking something truly original, laugh-out-loud funny, and wonderfully weird, The VelociPastor delivers a unique cinematic experience that's perfect for late-night viewing with friends. Its growing reputation as a modern cult classic is well-deserved.


















